I remember thinking, is this a joke? however, this was the biggest mistake one could ever make. Thoughts manifest into reality, and my confused state given my current circumstance, kept me blind in this dark place since I had awoke. I will not lie to you, the darkness permeated through out this whole area. I have grown hysterical for some type or form of light, but at the time I did not know-thats what I had been searching for. I could not see, I could feel nothing beneath me but cold, damp, yet fresh sand. I was subject to this darkness for what felt like an eternity, before I could muster up what I believed to be a sane thought. Where am I?
From what I could tell there were no walls, no ceiling, nor was it cold or hot, it was just right. I was not sore, nor did I suffer any aches or pains from any kind of struggle, nor was I hungry. These few observations did not make sense to me, was I being held against my will? was I kidnapped and placed in an undisclosed abode. Since I was not hungry, how long have I been here?
As more questions began to flood my mind, I began wasting time and energy, settling in panic. Frantically using my hands to see how far I could get, digging up sand. When I got tired of this I ran with my hands stretched out, and when I felt nothing within my grasp… another thought manifests, emotional instability, its weird how feelings of time passing stirs irrevocable fear, because after the absence of sight, and now the desertion of normalcy, no corners, walls or anything that could graze my hand, no given sense of direction, or even feeling different textures greet my feet, nervously running in and out of a panic stricken hysteria, not knowing if movement was worse than staying still. Whats the point of being trapped without the sense of being enclosed. It took me a while to realize the only sense taken from me was that of sight, all my handicaps unknown. The worst part about it all, is you never realize what alone really feels like, until you are completely abandoned by every sense of the word.
That is when I began to cry. Helpless, lost, defeated… will I make it out of here? is this how its suppose to end?
at that moment a slight feeling of hope overcame me. One that lies dormant within. So scarce but enough to garner the sensation of a good feeling. I started to remember the skill sets earned by wages of youth. All flooding my mind at once, like the time my cousin said if I remember correctly, you are the calmest person I know when challenged with diversity… I couldn’t help but think this is the perfect time to get back to being me. I remember playing hide and seek with my friends, I remember no one could hide from me, my intuition and instincts were always spot on. I just needed something, a clue, a smell, anything that could potentially lead me into a direction worth while. I also remember my love for getting lost and exploring my way back to the path. It is not the ideal circumstance, but I also remember my mother saying positive energy and thoughts begets positive returns. If I can somehow turn my negatives into positives I can work my self out of here.
All I remember next, waking up. Interesting enough it was still dark but I still had my hopeful bearings. As I sat there with no thoughts or bright ideas, I began running my hands through the sand. I never realized how soothing this felt. Calming, so much that I lost myself in the act, breathing, and letting my hands blend through the sand as if it were the finest of wines. Then all of a sudden I began to hear the piercing rhythms of my heart beat, I could hear my breath cut through the dense thick air like daggers ripping through skin, I heard the sands spilling through my hands, individually grain by grain-, pitter, pat, pitter, patter, patter,pit as if it were a storms cold rain hitting the ground. Thats when it happened, I heard the remnants of a large body of water rippling. It was faint but I heard this same sound,once- when my father was teaching me to fish. He said I had to be one with the water, to realize that it not only reflects, but responds. He said every thing talks to us if we have the will to listen.
I could not tell its origin, but I thought if I could get to the water I would be that much closer to finding a way out. I stood to my feet although it took a while for me to regain that same quietness, or say desperation, where I first found clarity in the excitement of movement other than my own, it was just, and enough to lose grasp of sound… I had to compose myself mentally, mind body and soul if I was to make it. I wanted to make sure I was not walking in circles, I needed a place mark so I begin to dig up the dirt large enough to lay down in. This will mark my beginning should I end up here again I will know exactly where I am at. I began on my journey sure to drive my feet into the sand, I thought if I could leave some form of track behind it will help me not follow the same path should it lead to no where. I also counted every step I took I figured If I came across an immovable object it would help me figure out the area of space I was in, I also hoped this will help my focus so that my mind wouldn’t stray to far and cause me to give up automatically.
That focus did not seem to help or last past a few minutes, I found my mind wandering exploring the depths of all the possibilities this new journey could take me. What would I find once light re-introduced itself to me? I was searching for a while and all i could hear is the melodic noise of drops of water falling into what I imagined to be a sea of water and filled with fields of deformed rubble and invisible reefs. My skin began to bump, the coldness started to set in, there really was not a breeze but with every step I became colder, and colder, and colder. Until at the speed of light, my emotions all crashed with fear and terror. I fell abruptly… I could not tell if I was dreaming of stars, because while I was falling I have seen spots of small like lights but it happen so fast it seemed as if I was seeing streams of light before I broke the plane of a large body of water.